#6 - Children will learn to read at different rates and at different ages.
Our eldest daughter started her education in a private school. The kindergarten class was 7 hours long. The school's claim to fame was that almost every child would graduate from kindergarten reading. This was a large order to fill as their were at least 30 students in the class and one teacher. She was assisted periodically by well-meaning parents. It was a grueling experience for the little people. However, their methods and program worked for our daughter. She was an avid reader at the end of that year, despite her tired mind and body every afternoon at 3:00.
I am a fairly methodical person. So, I believed teaching a child to read was like every other function machine in life. You use a certain program or method and "boom" your child will read. It certainly worked that way in our daughter's case. Of course, I became an avid fan of the school's reading method. I was only aware of a small group of children that shared my daughter's experience. I did not connect with the parents and children that suffered trials and problems with the system.
Fast forward 6 months when we decided to homeschool our children. As I sifted through curriculum I didn't hesitate to use the same reading program with my son. It worked beautifully. I patted myself smugly on the back and looked forward to teaching my next child in line how to read.
I used the same method with our third daughter. It worked well despite a few hiccups. I decided to use a different phonics program with her. It was a miserable experience. We switched back to our original program and were quickly back on track. More pats on the back for me, right? Boy, was I setting myself up for big fall.
One interesting point is that despite my three oldest children all learning to read with the same method and program, their desire to read was not and is not the same. My son would read what I gave him and my daughters would read anything they could find. My daughters read for the sheer pleasure they derived from it. My son read to acquire knowledge.
I began to teach our fourth son to read at exactly the same age and in exactly the same manner as our other children. I could go into all of the drama but I won't. I will say that it did not go as expected. I was humbled over and over again as year after year he did not read.
I was so sad. I felt like I was failing him as a mother and a teacher. It was a very busy time in my life. So, I just plodded along. I tried new programs. I pushed. I prodded. I prayed.
I remember when he was almost 9 he had to go to a hunter's safety class with his siblings. I was scared for him. His instructor was a kind man that got him through it. To this day Greg assures me that he didn't have to read for the course. Hmmmm, I don't know how that actually worked. The experience only further added to my desire help him read.
By the time he was ten I was running out of options and ideas. Fortunately, he was happy and had great self esteem.
For some unknown reason I started paying him small amounts of money to read books, any book. Well, being the resourceful child that he was he went back to very early readers he knew he could handle and started reading them and charging me for them. By, the grace of God something clicked. One moment he was struggling with the basics of phonics and the next the entire world had opened up to him as embraced reading.
He miraculously captured the love of reading. By the end of that year he had read "Great Expectations" and was eager for new reading material. He is my child that scored an 800 on the critical reading portion of the SAT. Talk about ironic.
I was smacked around by my experience teaching Greg to read. I am so grateful for that experience. You see, I had 5 other children that needed to learn to read. The lessons I learned with Gregory assisted me as I helped his younger siblings navigate the world of reading.
What did I learn?
- First, kids are very different. Don't box them in and don't label them. Can you imagine if Greg had been in a traditional educational environment? I shudder at the thought of the labels that would have been slapped on him.
- Secondly, as a teacher you are helping your children learn. You need to figure out how best to do accomplish that. I believe in phonics as a method to teach kids how to read. But listen to your children. Sometimes they need more than a phonics program, a wonderful curriculum, or a new book. In some cases they just need time and we need patience.
- Thirdly, encourage them wherever they are academically. Rejoice in the little victories. Love your kids unconditionally.
- Finally, don't be too prideful. Trust me, it's a set up for a humbling experience. It's not about you. It's about educating your children.